You might be a teacher if...


  • You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.
  • You find humor is other people's stupidity.
  • You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free.
  • You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
  • You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.
  • You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
  • When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
  • Marking all A's on the report card would make your life SOOO much simpler.
  • When you mention "vegetables" and you're not talking about a food group.
  • You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
  • You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
  • You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
  • You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.
  • You've never had your profession slammed by someone who would NEVER DREAM of doing your job.
  • You can't have children of your own, because there is NO name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.
  • Meeting a child's parents INSTANTLY answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?" Copyrighted 2009 by Snoopy Dude Graphics